


you cannot beat nature into submission

by sidneysprescott



Series: Does it hurt? Dying? Quicker than falling asleep | A collection of Harry Potter one shots [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, Death Eaters, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Werewolves, lots of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 14:45:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13661166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidneysprescott/pseuds/sidneysprescott
Summary: the marauders died one by one till there was none of them left. the last to go was remus lupin, joining his friends after many years without them.





	you cannot beat nature into submission

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a task for a group but I ended up really liking it. It took a long time and I'm going to post the other two I wrote for the same purpose as well! Might take up doing this for other characters if anyone is interested in this let me know in the comments for anyone particular. Feedback is more than welcome feel free to message me here or @deatheatvrs on tumblr!

i. war was simply that. it was war and it takes and takes till there was nothing left and remus knew that better than anyone. by 1982 there was nothing left but the wolf festering under his skin, itching to get out. it felt like he was being eaten alive by this monster inside him, no longer chained down by the support of all of those remus had, all of those remus lost in such a short amount of time. 

ii. a part of his youth died with james, his heart breaking once he learned the death of his dear friend and his wife. the words came out before he could even think what about harry? the death of the potter’s was nothing less than a tragedy but there was a small glimmer of hope left in his heart knowing somehow, miraculously harry had survived. he was an orphan, left scarred and all alone but he was alive. it killed remus to know harry, the light of james and lily’s whole life, was being left in the hands of those who were not capable of raising him. remus wanted to help but he believed himself incapable of doing so. he was a fool if he thought that he could raise a child; there was a reason that in what they all thought was a rare chance of everything going wrong sirius was named harry’s guardian. 

iii. poor sirius fate may have been even worse. HE WAS A TRAITOR, they told him over again. it was all around him sketched across papers and spread through harsh whispers but never, not for one second did he believe it to be true. he knew sirius, he knew that no matter the poor or questionable choices his friend had made he would never rat james out. it wasn’t possible and so remus bit his tongue, held back tears and sorrow for another friend lost in the fight. 

iv. and then there was peter, he was just gone. nothing left of him and it made no sense. remus couldn’t understand how months ago they were all gathered together, filling an empty room with warm smiles and laughter. dorcas was gone as well now, no longer complaining about the lack of cereal in his home or abusing his beloved worn down couch. what he would have given to see them all again. now all that there was left of the girl who remus cared for like a sister was her bravery and wits. they were all gone now, just gone.

v. was it wrong to admit he was afraid? voldemort was dead, the war was supposedly won but remus did not feel like they had not when everything he had known, everyone he loved with all his heart was gone. from that day on remus he swore, he prayed he would not let anyone that close to take a piece of him with them when there was nothing left but sorrow. 

vi. a gentle hope had been restored in him when he met harry, plenty of years later resembling his father so closely it sent a chill up his spine. it was 1993 and remus felt like he yet had a place again, keeping an eye on the boy that was practically his honorary nephew whether harry knew that or not. the prizoner of azkaban has escaped, sirius black was in hogwarts castle they said and remus thought that it was only rumors. he could not get his hopes up because the man they imprisoned so many years ago would not be the same as he was now. 

vii. and nothing had prepared remus for seeing his beloved friend again, so quickly brought back to a time where things were much more simple. where they were kids and james was alive. in the end there were no words to sum up the relief that remus felt despite the horrid situation. it’s good to see you sirius and with that was the first time that remus may have felt some kind of safety in twelve or so years. 

viii. he never let anyone that close so why was it that, oh dear, andromeda’s daughter had stolen remus’ heart so easily with her snarky quips and colorful hair. she was thirteen years younger than he was and it felt wrong, it did but she was an adult and was far more persistent than he had expected. despite the looming fear of a new war, a war to end all wars, things in remus life felt okay for the first time in a very long time. 

ix. june 18th 1996 may have been when everything fell apart. everything was fine and what was left of the previous order had banded back together in attempt to keep chaos at bay and protect harry. a few scrapes and bruises were nothing, everything was fine till sirius was hit with a curse and pulled through the veil and remus watched the last remnants of his old life fade away until like the others sirius was gone too. he held back harry, grasped him as tightly as he could but there was nothing he could do to keep the young boy from chasing after bellatrix. if remus had that kind of rage left in him, he might’ve followed but after years of this pain and loss; he was tired. and so he pushed everyone away, hid so he wouldn’t have to worry about losing anyone else but he was no longer a child. 

x. keeping his distance from dora simply hadn’t worked, as he already knew she wasn’t ready to give up on him and in the end he was glad she hadn’t. remus had never loved anyone like he loved her. marriage terrified him and fatherhood even more. werewolves didn’t mate as far as remus was aware, who would ever want to force upon a child such a monstrous curse. every part of him was screaming to run and yet, he stayed. for once he couldn’t bring it upon himself to run because he loved her more than he could have ever imagined and he loved their son.

xi. if only happy endings existed in remus’ book. years of grief and mourning had worn down on the werewolf, leaving him aged and exhausted. it almost over, he kept telling himself. all of this was almost over and once it was they were all free to live their lives. remus wouldn’t have been left awake at night wondering if his son would get to live a life that he deserved, if he’d face discrimination for his father being a werewolf, or if they would be safe in their own home. it’s almost over, he told himself searching through crowds of people for his wife. anything throughout the mounds of people, a wisp of pink hair, anything that would catch his eye. it was almost over, tears stung his eyes the second he stumbled upon her body, knowing there was no worse pain than this. she appeared so cold but somehow peaceful almost as if she could be mistaken for sleeping, her hair no longer the beautiful bubblegum pink she preferred instead restored back to a mousy brown she once told him she had hated. they were so close to the end, she couldn’t leave him now but that seemed to be the only consistent thing in his life. everyone he held so dearly was lost and soon after, he followed nymphadora and the many that were snatched far too early on. 

as the sun rose over the destroyed castle walls, there remus lupin laid next to tonks, both at peace.


End file.
